DIY Mantra.

My guests will not notice if there is smeared green ink on the folded crease of their Save The Date.

They will not care if some letters are bigger than others.

They will think that my handwritten words are darling and personal, not ugly, crooked, and off center.

My guest list will remain small, as we wanted it from the beginning, because you are not invited to my wedding if I don't want to invest hours of handmade craft into you.

If a bow comes untied in the mail, who cares? It is no big deal.

I will finish these myself.

I will not cave.

I LOVE DIY.

I LOVE DIY.

I LOVE DIY.

Meet the Malones, Part 2!

We'll pick up where we left off, at the rehearsal of Em and Casey's beautiful wedding ceremony. The church was gorgeous, the people there were super friendly and helpful, and we all felt (fairly) confident that we knew when to walk, what pace to stick to, and where we were supposed to be standing.

After rehearsing the ceremony, it was time to head back downtown for the rehearsal DINNER - a burrito bar, YUM! We were so thrilled to see that the rain had stopped, and Em's sister Rebecca rounded up every available towel in the suite to dry off table and chairs on the balcony overlooking downtown Cincinnati (unfortunately, this meant that we were 100% towel-less the next morning, but it was a small price to pay for dining al fresco with the pretty scenery). It was so fun to have the party in the suites, and even more fun to see some great friends and meet more of Emily and Casey's families. It was also Rebecca's birthday, so we celebrated with some ColdStone cupcakes (near and dear to my heart) and everyone had a super fun time.

My two favorites at the rehearsal dinner!

We turned in around 11:30, and I was excited that the bridal party was all staying together in the same suite (mostly, I was thrilled to be sharing a DLO bed for what I hope will not be the last time in my life). Although I have a pesky habit of falling asleep instantly, Em and Linds stayed up a little bit longer and talked (I assume) about the next day and all of its wonderfulness!

We woke up the next morning -- EMILY'S WEDDING DAY! -- and everything went pretty smoothly. Despite the aforementioned towel shortage, the getting-ready process at the hotel was fairly easy, as Em was treating us all to salon updo's! We didn't worry about hair or makeup, threw on our comfy pants and matching tanks, and headed to Emily's house.

Even in the midst of her 12 million things going on that weekend, Em managed to host a beautiful and perfect brunch on wedding day morning. I was super thankful for this on so many levels -- one, it was so nice to have a normal breakfast of fruit, yogurt, and bagels, and not be worried about having to scarf down some grease fest from a drive thru on a day when you are trying to look your best. Two, it was so personal and relaxing! We were all able to talk, unwind, and eat (of course!) without any stress at all.

The rehearsal dinner flowers were our tablescape for brunch!

Emily had gotten us all darling gifts -- initial necklaces from Etsy (I have been wearing mine every day since the wedding, and it garners at least one compliment per wear) and gorgeous little pave pearl earrings that I helped acquire from Anthro (the love!). I did my best to not sob all over the individual thank you cards she had written for us, and then we all headed to the salon.

I was pretty excited to see Emily's 'do for the big day, as I have always wanted to wear my hair down for special occasions, but can never make it work. Her style was so gorgeous and flattering to her and her dress (I wish I had a picture of the back and the beautiful little silk rosettes!). I was ALSO pretty pumped to be getting my own hair done, although I had no clue what I wanted. I watched Lindsey get a perfect style and waited patiently to intercept her stylist as soon as she was done. Tragically, I got landed with some hungover pill-popping freakazoid, but she did ok in the end (my only direction was "I want a huge poof at the crown, I want it all up, and I want it to stay through a hurricane") and my hair definitely stayed in place -- all the way through Saturday night, until Sunday morning, when Linds had to pull 58 bobby pins and a dozen braces-sized rubber bands out of my hair.

Kenji works his magic as the bride's sisters look on.

Linds and I high-tailed it out of the salon as soon as we were done, since we had dropped my bridesmaid's dress off at the cleaner's the day before (covered in dog hair and wrinkled from me trying it on 35 times pre-wedding), and I was terrified that some horrible freak thing would happen where they would close early or something. Luckily, we retrieved the dress on time, and despite the fact that it was slightly damp (a quick air-out in front of an open window solved that), it looked perfect. We reunited with the bridal party back at Emily's for the final stages of wedding prep (makeup and dresses!), and everyone's hair looked absolutely awesome.

Getting ready at Em's was one of the smartest decisions involved with this wedding. Not only was it totally relaxed, but I felt 100% normal and comfortable -- not like when you're out of town and getting ready in some random hotel or something. Even though it seemed lonely without Huey and Indy at my feet, their doggie spa vacation was also a great idea. Not to mention, between the 7 of us, we had every Bare Escentuals eye color ever made to choose from (largely in part to Emily's personal collection), along with an arsenal of mascaras, eyelash curlers, et cetera. We all felt totally ready, totally gorgeous, and totally prepared to walk the aisle.

We caravaned to the church (despite my protests of Emily DRIVING in her wedding dress, she is hard-core and a total champ) and waited for the ceremony while we all finished cutting programs, admired our flowers numerous times, and made sure we remembered where we were supposed to be standing (Sarah also took this opportunity to practice pacing herself by singing "Happy Birthday" to herself in her head).

Our bridesmaid bouquets, and Emily's bouquet!

Emily's "wedding purse" (handmade in Ireland and purchased on Etsy, natch.)

Co-bridesmaids of the year furiously cut programs.

As we were waiting for the ceremony to begin, Em decided she really wanted to see the church and hear the music, and the church wedding-planner-helper showed us where we could look in without being seen (as long as we promised to be quiet as church mice!). As we looked toward the altar, Emily's and Casey's moms were lighting the candles as Emily's requested West Side story music floated through the church. (I honestly can't remember if it was "One Hand, One Heart" or "Somewhere" -- all I know is that it was gorgeous and beautiful and perfect). We were all overcome with emotion, Em let out a few pre-wedding sobs (got it out of her system, at least!) and we were all ushered to where we waited our turn to walk down the aisle...

Check back soon for the third and final installment of the Holcombe/Malone nuptials!

Arby's Deal of the Century!!

Get to your local Arby's, stat! Every Wednesday this month they are giving out freebies, and today you get a free shake (20 oz., any flavor) with any sandwich purchase. The bonus? They just released a dollar menu, featuring some great selections such as a junior roast beef, junior ham and cheddar, or junior chicken sandwich. For a mere $1.07, I just enjoyed a delicious ham and cheddar and a chocolate malt swirl shake (not the best for my waistline, but payday's tomorrow and my checking account is on life support).

So that sounds like a good deal, right? Here's what makes it a GREAT deal - on the back of your receipt, there's a number to call to take a brief survey. Complete the survey and get a free regular roast beef or beef and cheddar on your next visit.

2 sandwiches and a shake for a buck? I dare you to beat that deal! Enjoy!

Meet the Malones!

Let me start by saying that this post is *long* overdue. Also, I'm sure Emily can't wait to get back from the Caribbean and recap her gorgeous wedding, so I will leave the details to her (happy eight day anniversary, lover!). I'll take this opportunity to highlight her nuptials from the view of a dutiful bridesmaid, just in case she missed any hilarious details along her way to the altar.

Last Thursday, I made my way to Jacksonville International at 4 am, planning to have about an hour and half before my flight departed at 6. After a rather hectic check-in and trip through security, I made it to my gate. The attendant came on and made an announcement that the bathroom on our aircraft would not be functioning, and everyone was urged to use the facilities in the airport before boarding. After doing a silent cheer for not stopping for a venti caramel macch, I got in line and got on the plane. After we were seated, buckled in, and told the exit strategy, the pilot comes on and tells us we are NOT allowed to fly with a broken lavatory, and we all have to get off the plane! This led to a lot of mumbling and grumbling, a quick re-route of passengers who had not checked luggage, and a long line for me to wait in while one lonely Delta clerk re-organized flights for all passengers. Now, I knew that Lindsey was waiting on me to pipe and frost some very important cookies, but I somehow felt that Delta would not understand the disparity of the situation. By the time I got to the counter, I had convinced myself and all others around me that I was the Maid of Honor in a 3 pm wedding in Cincinnati (I even worked up some tears, easily done thanks to only 3 hours of sleep). Delta Debbie tried to get me in to CVG at 7:35 pm, but a trembling lip and a protest from the girl next to me (who claimed she had her own bridal shower in Cinci at noon, a story I do NOT believe) pushed me up to 1:40. After a layover in Atlanta and a lot of impatient foot-tapping, I finally made it to Ohio!

The first of the weekend's events was a pre-wedding tea, hosted by Liz and her mom at the BonBonerie tea room. We all ate delicious cookies (though I think the sight of Royal Icing'ed sugar cutouts may have turned Lindsey's stomach) and drank yummy tea while Emily briefed me on the upcoming weekend events (I also learned the BonBonerie is seeking a full-time decorator, and almost asked to go behind the counter to show off my skills).

Ladies love tea time! (From L to R: Judy, Jan, Rebecca, Sarah, Emily, Mary Ann, Linds, Liz, Tina, and Martha)

After tea, the bridal party headed out for mani/pedis, where (almost) everyone relaxed, and Liz and I had giggle fits as people messed with our feet. We all got beautiful french manis (most of which were destroyed during 24 hours of pre-wedding prep), and a variety of beautiful colors on our piggies. Emily went home to change and get ready for that night's dinner, while Linds, Rebecca, and I hit up Party City for an appropriate bachelorette accessory. After being faced with blinking buttons, sashes, explicit necklaces, and more, we settled on a subtle and classy headband, modeled here by Emily at our Thursday night sushi dinner:

The bride's accessory garnered many honks and yells from passers-by, not to mention offers of free drinks!

It was almost surreal to wake up Friday morning and realize that it was the day of Emily's wedding REHEARSAL! Linds and I had big plans to finish the cookies before rehearsal time, so we got down to "cookie patrol", fueled by the sounds of the Hannah Montana movie soundtrack ("Hoedown Throwdown", anyone?) Basically, I was so late that my only job was to pipe bows onto Emily's cameo ponytail, as Linds and Em had handled every other aspect of the cookie prep. Here's a close up of the final couple:

Em and Case look good enough to eat!

We finished the cookies in plenty of time to help transport reception supplies to the Taft Museum, the site for the Malones' gorgeous wedding celebration. Linds and I, with the help of several Holcombe family members, loaded up several pounds of Kosher salt, a lot of beautifully formed tissue paper, and several jars and table linens, which would be transformed into beautiful tables and decorations. After a lot of swearing and intense downtown driving (damn you, one way streets!), we got the supplies to Taft, where our bride-to-be was waiting with her (I paused here to find the right adjective...) seasoned and experienced wedding planner from Taft. As an outsider who had not been present for a lot of planning, I was SUPER nervous for Em to leave all of her hard work and preparation to be pulled together by this staff. I should have known (and was relieved to see) she came prepared with typed lists, color coded set up charts, and clear concise direction. Emily, I can only hope that my own wedding planning Lilly Pulitzer notebook is as organized and stress-free as yours.

A dream-come-true reception site!

After making certain that everything needed for the reception was in place, we had a few hours before the rehearsal began. We called Em about 14 times, just to be certain that she didn't need us to take care of anything else, and then headed to the mall for a few last-minute wedding supplies (strapless bra and new underoos, of course!). Linds and I even made a pit stop to Cinci's Anthro in hopes of picking up a hoodie for the bride to wear during get-ready time on Saturday (it was impossible for either of us to stop buying stuff for Emily. We wanted everything to be perfect for the perfect girl on her perfect day!). Sadly, the beloved garment was no where in site, so we had to settle for our freshly made "Operation: Mrs. Malone" tanks for pre-wedding hair and makeup. I didn't manage to get a group pic of our adore shirts, so I'm hoping photographer Shannon came through in the clutch.

ANYWAY, after our mini shopping spree, it was time to get ready for the rehearsal! Emily had called and invited us to prepare with her in the pre-wedding suite at the Garfield, so we headed downtown again with (what we thought would be) plenty of time to spare. Basically, the entire weekend was so much fun (preparation and all), but every time I looked at the clock, I felt like hours were passing in seconds! We got downtown, withstood a minor bride breakdown (partly due to rain, mostly due to people not leaving Emily alone - I mean, she KNOWS it's raining, why did EVERYONE have to keep calling her and pointing it out?!) and got to the church in time to rehearse for the big day. I had only been in one wedding before, and I am prone to sprouting large tomato-like splotches all over my face and neck whenever people are looking at me, so I was pretty nervous that I might mess up. But we'll save the details of the rehearsal dinner celebration and wedding to a future post... until then, enjoy this pic of Em and her lovely bridesmaids on the eve of her wedding day! Congrats, lady -- love you more than anything!

STOP. SPOILING.

Seriously. I am FUMING after viewing tonight's ep of Biggest Loser.

It is a rarity that I will watch ANY program in real time. Tonight I started Loser around 8:25, meaning I was up to actual time by roughly 9:30. It was at exactly this point, one hour and 30 minutes into a two hour program, that I could have stopped watching entirely.

When heading to commercial at 9:30, they show a screenshot of the BL website. Announcer says, "Who would you shield from elimination? Go to nbc.com to vote! (Brought to you by Ziploc -- designed with you in mind)".

Clear as DAY, RON and MIKE are on the website! The two finalists up for elimination (their fate lies in the hands of America's vote)! I wasn't supposed to know that for another TWENTY EIGHT MINUTES. Thanks, Ziploc, for keeping my food freshness needs in mind, but could someone at NBC please keep my entertainment and viewing needs in mind? Where's the SUSPENSE??

This is one of my most enjoyed programs on television, and it is produced by a MAJOR NETWORK. How can it air with this large of an error, one that I notice at even a 3x fast forward DVR speed?

I am outraged at this injustice! Who can I email at NBC???

How did I miss this?

Tonight, I caught a glimpse of "Dancing with the Stars". I used to watch this show because my stockroom team loooooved it, and it gave us something to talk about while unloading full trailers of crap merchandise. It has long been off my radar, however, for a multitude of reasons (not least of which a hatred for Jewel and several DVR conflicts). In the brief second the TV rested on ABC, I recognized a bubbly blonde who was none other than Chelsie Hightower, one of my all-time favorite SYTYCD contestants! She is tragically paired with Jewel's husband, that Ty fella who rides rodeo and handmakes belt buckles (I think). But, her part of the routine was awesome, and I might watch again just because I adore her. Great casting of dancers, NBC - let's try for better selection of the "stars".

To Do.

If you compare my number of posts about knitting to number of posts about television programming, I'm pretty sure we'll all agree that the name is this blog is beyond misleading (maryannthefatasswholovestv.blogspot.com was taken!). Knitting is a hobby that I ADORE, but I don't always have a ton of time for it. TV is something that has always been, and will always be, an integral part of my life. The fabulous things I see there sometimes need to be shared with others (namely, my blog readers). Sometimes I let you know exactly how to program your DVR for the upcoming week, and sometimes I just give little shout-outs to a new gem I think you shouldn't miss. Either way, I feel it's partly my duty as a blogger to alert you to upcoming can't miss eps and specials.

This week is a big to-do list week for me, as I am leaving on Thursday morning for Emily's wedding! I can't WAIT, and my Blackberry is full of miscellaneous tasks to accomplish before I set foot on that plane (luckily, I have finally synced my to-do and shopping lists to my PinkBerry, making my life SO much easier). When I was working through my Saturday list yesterday, I knew I had to post a quick blog (I was checking off "Set DVR for Sunday-Sunday"). I'm not going to post the entirety of my DVR to-do list, but there are some must see's for the upcoming week:

Tuesday, May 5th:

American Idol, 8pm, FOX: A lot of you have stopped watching, I know. And after last week's guest mentor (Jamie FOXX?! Most Americans don't even recognize him as a musical artist!), I almost fell off the bandwagon myself. But this show is nothing if not monumentally ridiculous, and it will be sure to hold its own in entertainment value with this week's theme: rock and roll. The guest mentor? SLASH. Credibility is slipping through the producers' fingertips.

Biggest Loser, 8pm, NBC: With only one ep between us and this season's finale, the 4 finalists learn that their final challenge is to run a MARATHON. Having tackled a half mara earlier in the season, I think they will actually all do pretty well (with the exception of poor Ron...). I'm excited to see how much more weight the contestants have lost in their 30 days at home (and to see if Helen has managed to keep her hair under control).

The Real Housewives of New York City, 10pm, Bravo: I am about done with this season, not because of its lack of entertainment, but since seeing the preview for the Housewives of JERSEY, I simply cannot wait! Talks of mafia dealings, former prostitution, and general scandal are already outshining all locations and seasons of previous Housewives. I'm already confused as to how everyone is related. A future blog post will probably break it down into some sort of twisted family tree.

Thursday, May 7th:

The Fashion Show, 10pm, Bravo: Since losing their legal battle and subsequently losing Heidi and Tim, I think this new series is Bravo's answer to the now absent Runway.

Saturday, May 9th (Emily's wedding day!):

Ace of Cakes, 9pm, Food Network: An hour-long special! Duff and the gang head to Hawaii (love) to create a special cake for the cast of "Lost" (hate). I love, love, love this show, and wanted to point out the special airing time and length!

Saturday Night Live, 11:30 pm, NBC: JUSTIN. TIMBERLAKE. HOSTS. Ciara is the musical guest, which means there is a 100% chance that they will sing that "Love, Sex, Magic" number together (speaking of, have you seen the VIDEO? Hotttttttt...) Timber is always hilarious on SNL, and I can't wait to watch this hungover with Lindsey on Sunday afternoon.

Grab your remotes, set your timers, and ENJOY!